What started as a meditation on miscommunication turned into a knowing of my path and confirmation of some decisions I need to make. Here is why you should never give up during your meditation.
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So many people have this idea that Mindfulness wants us to be happy all the time or that it is going to make us feel better about ourselves. Increased levels of happiness and a new perspective to life is definitely a byproduct of practicing Mindfulness techniques but it is NOT what mindfulness asks us to do. I have noticed a huge number of people coming out in support of changing our thinking into a positive more mindful mindset or saying we must find gratitude in the moment. Now I am not one for not being thankful but if we are to be practicing mindfulness if may not always be possible to see the good in anyone or all situations. In fact mindfulness asks us to be present with the situation in whatever form it presents – good, bad or indifferent. It does not ask us to change anything in the moment including how we feel about that moment.
You see mindfulness invites us to feel into every moment for exactly what it is. It wants us to experience whatever we feel in that present moment. Changing is not necessary. Neither our thoughts or our feelings. When we are told to find gratitude in a really shitty situation we are being told to change our way of thinking. So do we forsake how we feel or what we think in order to see things from a more positive perspective? Certainly moving positions and opening ourselves to different perspectives cannot be discounted but should we be doing it in order to change our feelings. The intentions for mindfulness practice are totally different to what I have been seeing online recently. It is NOT changing anything in order to force yourself to feel a certain way. In fact forcing change can often set you up for feeling worse than when you began. Change nothing. Allow yourself to be. This is what mindfulness practices really ask of you. At the end of the day intention plays a big role in what I think these individuals who are asking us to change about our feelings or thoughts. Let’s start to examine who we are changing our feelings for? Most times the people who are delivering the message to either “change your mindset” or to “be grateful” are saying it because they simply do not know how to handle your emotions. And honestly that’s okay with me. If someone doesn’t know how to handle my emotions, fine and dandy here because well half the time I do not know how to handle my emotions. But please don’t tell me my emotions are wrong and I need to change them. I think I would appreciate someone either reminding me to be WITH what I am feeling rather than asking me to change my feelings because it makes them feel uncomfortable. Even better maybe if they just sat with me while I was with those feelings and said nothing, just sat in silence and well just be with me while I feel like shit. That would be good. Unless I am ranting and then well maybe I dunno rant with me and guide me gently through the rant with well place ‘where do you feel it in your body?’ questions. But please do not tell me to change how I feel or what to think! Practicing mindfulness in those difficult to explain or highly emotionally charged moments has far more beneficial outcomes than telling someone to change how they perceive the situation. Mindfulness is an opportunity to observe your feelings and watch how those feelings will change for themselves often without having to do more than acknowledging them. Watching our thoughts may not give them clarity and it certainly does not change them. But it does give us an opportunity to manage our responses to those strong emotions. As happens strong emotions can often cause strong uncontrolled (and often socially unacceptable) responses – like ranting or throwing things (personal experience here and it is totally different for everyone but I hope you see where I am coming from). And this is where the desire or need for people to help us change those feelings. Uncontrolled responses can lead to all sorts of consequences. Consequences that can result in making us (or others) feel worse. Therefore learning to sit with our emotions and observing the feelings consciously supports an understanding of our responses meaning we avoid being on the emotional rollercoaster of response and consequence. Mindfulness can keep us off the emotional rollercoaster but it is not through changing anything in that moment. We can find a place of accepting socially-considered negative based emotions for ourselves through mindfulness. You will find through mindfulness techniques that stick to the core meaning of mindfulness that you can manage your responses to those same emotions. It is totally possible to change your perspectives. To see things from a different angle. To feel happier and calmer within yourself over an event or situation that would once send you into meltdown. But it is not by forcing the change. It takes practice and perhaps some well guided mindfulness reminders. Saying to someone in the moment of crisis “how do you feel right now?” or “just sit with this feeling and observe it for what it is?” is far more helpful than “change your feelings”. There are plenty of resources available for learning mindfulness techniques on the internet just make sure you are working with a reputable source that understands what mindfulness really is about. The Autumn Equinox is a time of seasonal change when the days are officially balanced and an opportunity to let go of what is not serving us readying for hibernation in Winter. Each season has its time and in Australia we are about to officially move from one season to the other with the coming of the Equinox, known as Mabon in Pagan circles. We will celebrate the change from Summer into the milder months of Autumn.
While we are blessed not to have deep darker Winter times, we do see a shortening of the days and longer nights. We move to eating more warming foods, feel the change in wind direction and for those paying attention observe a change in plant life. This is a great time to be planting out your vegetable garden here in Queensland and an opportunity to pick an abundant of fruit from citrus to dragonfruit (in my personal case). I believe we are truly blessed this time of the year and I think its safe to say that I certainly enjoy the changing season. Here is my top 3 reasons I am thankful for the coming Autumn: An Opportunity to Slow Down As the days get shorter I really enjoy the time to find additional time for myself. Energies of the season invite us to move inwards. With Autumn the energies move to a more Yin nature. We take time to examine how our life has been during the extrovert Summer Seasons and move to a more introverted attitude. As we move inwards we can undertake an internal cleansing. This cleansing comes in the form of slowing down, reflecting and making any changes we need to declutter physically and psychologically. We let go of what is not serving so when Winter comes we are feeling ready to rest completely. Storing our Sense of Abundance The Autumn Equinox is traditionally celebrated with the last of the Summer harvest. Farmers give thanks for the abundance of the food they have grown and managed to harvest ready for storing in preparation for the cooler months. We may not need to preserve our foods in the same way that our ancestors did but we can still take time to give thanks for the abundance we have experienced till now. Blessings for being Complete The Equinox is a reminder of harmony and balance. Each Equinox, both Spring and Autumn are days when the sun directly crosses the Equator and day and night are even. I see this as symbolic of the perfect harmony of the yin and yang in that moment. I like to teach that we are already whole yet we rarely get to experience total complete harmony in nature. In Oriental theory we see Yin in Yang and Yang in Yin which is completeness but at the moment of the Equinox we see the wholeness as they come together in absolute balance within itself. The moon and sun have rule for 12 hours each. This Equinox I will be taking time to harmonise my own energies with the energies of the season in a ritual which I will celebrate online. I hope that you will join me via the event I created on my Facebook page. Coronavirus is real and it is something to seriously consider as impacting your health. But should it prevent you from having a massage or attending your regular yoga classes?
According to the World Health Organisation Coronavirus includes a large family of viruses ranging from the common cold to more severe diseases such as Severe Acute Respiratory Disease (SARS). Novel coronavirus is a new strain that presents signs such as respiratory symptoms, fever, cough, shortness of breath and breathing difficulties. In more severe cases, infection can cause pneumonia, severe acute respiratory syndrome, kidney failure and even death (WHO, 2020). With many health experts advising on steps to take on preventing the spread of coronavirus I thought I would take the opportunity to address some concerns you might have about having a massage or attending your regular yoga class. Is it safe to still have a massage or attend yoga?The short answer is nobody knows. The long answer is that health advice is suggesting coronavirus spreads when someone with the virus sneezes or coughs on you. Advice from the Queensland Health website also says “You could also catch the virus if they have coughed or sneezed onto a surface (like a door handle) that you touch, getting the droplets on your hands and then transferring them to your mouth, nose or eyes when you touch your face or eat”. Therefore safe to assume it is possible that you could get coronavirus if you are in the presence of someone who has the virus. But how do we know if someone has the virus? We probably won’t know. In my mind the best way to keep massage and yoga safe for you and others is to keep up or adopt practices that reduce the risk of spreading the virus. Regularly washing your hands seems to be the number one piece of advice offered by many global experts on preventing the spread of coronavirus. Other advice suggests that leading a healthy lifestyle, exercising, eating a balanced diet, getting enough sleep and reducing stress will support preventing getting sick and not just from Coronavirus. Queensland Health offers this sound advice on staying well and also other advise for preventing the spread of coronavirus on their website. I love that Queensland Health offer the above advice for staying healthy because there is plenty of research to suggest living a healthy lifestyle is in fact a great preventative for well staying healthy. In the past, I have read some great scientifically researched articles about boosting the immune system too. Harvard health lists all the above-mentioned lifestyle habits as methods for bolstering your immune system as well as suggests minimising alcohol, not smoking, maintaining health weight and basic hygiene practices. This advice to me seems to support the fact that if you are already undertaking practices to support your health than you should continue doing them. Yoga and Massage are both activities that support your health and if you are receiving benefit from them, then don’t stop until we get further evidence to suggest otherwise. With that I want to assure you that I am doing plenty to reduce risks of the spread of coronavirus as much as possible with information we are given by those same health authorities. Here’s what I am doing to reduce the risks at Mindful Living MattersMany of the methods for reducing the risks suggested from credible sources are observations I already had adopted as general hygiene practices anyway however Queensland Health authorities and my registration bodies have issued some updated information that I plan on including:
Here’s what you can do to reduce the risksFirst and foremost do not panic. Coronavirus does pose risks to your health along with everyone else around you. Know that you are not alone in this and talk about it is you are worried however I suggest using this opportunity to activate your discernment energies and learn what is sensationalism in the media and what information is to be trusted. From there I would greatly appreciate if:
In this climate it is even more important that we take care of our mental wellbeing. This might mean adopting self-care practices where we can feel safest. Perhaps this is in comfort of your own home, maybe it’s in the company of others or maybe it’s just about burying your head in the sand and pretending it’s not happening. While I am inclined to practice the latter, I am also well aware of the responsibility that I have to my immediate family and to YOU my wider family. Taking care of your mental wellbeing is imperative to staying healthy. I understand that if you cannot look after your mental health you are less likely to be looking after your physical health. So I plan to continue offering my massage, yoga and meditation services to the public. I am definitely looking at alternatives for those of you who wish to practice at home but for those that still wish to practice in the company of others (or wish to attend the Cottage for your massages) it will be business as usual until we are advised by health authorities to do otherwise. Immune Booster Hint from Oriental Remedial TheoryIn Oriental theory the immune system is associated with lung energy. When the lung energy is weak so is our protective barriers. Practicing pranayama or breathing techniques can improve our lung energy. Therefore, now is the perfect time to practice pranayama. Stop, breathe and be healthy If you would like further information on developing a pranayama or yoga practice at home then feel free to contact me for a complimentary chat today. Stay healthy during the cooler months with these simple practices you can include in your daily life. Since completing my Oriental Therapies and Shiatsu course in early 2015, I have become more aware of the energies that control this time of the year. Autumn is the season of the Metal Element. In other schools of thought it might even be associated with the Air Element.
At this time of year we can start to move inward, practice Svadhyaya (Self-reflection), let go of the outer sheath that holds us together and experience a deepening sense of vulnerability. In Autumn we can move past the external nature of our existence where we might have created habits or behaviours just to get through the day, to letting go of what we no longer need and search for the true value of our life. Autumn means making a change so as to further enrich our future, to clean house in order to keep a pure healthy vibrancy about ourselves. In doing this we need to take a few vital steps to ensure we have the strength for a smooth transition. Here are some ideas on optimising this time of the year to deepen your practice of Svadhyaya, making the most of letting go of what no longer serves you well and looking after your physical health:
I look forward to seeing you in practice soon. Namaste Deb Oriental Medicine suggests we are intrinsically link with nature and if we are not prepared for a seasonal change we may experience Dis-Ease. Over the last week or so I have started noticing changes in the environment around me. Yes here in Queensland, Australia we seem to experiencing some weather extremes lately – from drought, to fires and now floods. In fact a good portion of the South East Coast of Australia has had its fair share. But lurking in the background I have been observing changes that to me indicate Autumn is clearly on its way.
I have observed a bit of a nip in the air some mornings and even just this week I observed some dew covering the grass and my back-patio table. Then the other night the most glorious sunset that to me always signals shorter days are coming. And if I am honest I must admit to observing some signs of seasonal change in my body - a sudden need to sleep longer and a totally random (and very annoying) dry cough. As Autumn truly sets in its much easier for us to notice the more external signs. The leaves falling off certain trees, cooler weather, the humidity levels fall and in Queensland we have experience the abundance of an Autumn harvest of familiar produce such as apples. Seeing as we are connected to the outer world, it is just as important for us to recognize the inner signs we can also experience throughout the season of Autumn. In Oriental Medicine, Autumn is known as belonging to the Metal Element. The energy of the metal element is that of New Yin. Autumn starts the journey of inner reflection, preparing us for the deep Winter months. After the full Yang energy of Summer, if we are not prepared for the jump into Yin energy we can be susceptible to imbalances which create DIS-EASE in the body. Autumn is a season of dryness and It is quite common to experience dry skin, coughs, colds and a lowered immune system throughout the months of Autumn. With the organs of the Lungs and the Large Intestines being associated with Autumn, both need to work in concert with the other. The Large Intestine and the Lungs are known as the point of exchange of the pure and impure, letting go of what is not needed and absorbing what we need. However the Lung responsible for dispersing fluids in the body is highly susceptible to heat and cold – like a metal object that easily absorbs the external so does the Lungs. This function alone contributes to a cascade of events in the body leading to signs and symptoms related to Autumn that we can avoid through some easy lifestyle preventative measures. Dry Skin As the humidity drops and the air begins to become drier our Lung Ki may not adequately lubricate or nourish our skin and hair. The dryness simply is a result of fluids in the environment which we exist. By ensuring we are adequately hydrate we can support a well lubricated internal environment. Particular foods can also support nourishing our skin with fluids to support hydration. Try bumping up your diet with these foods leading into Autumn:
Lowered Immune System The protective Ki known as Wei Qi is affected by the foods that we eat and the air that we breathe. The strength of our Wei Qi underlies the quality and strength of our immune system. When the Wei Qi is not functioning well we become susceptible to external pathogens. The quality of our breath is perhaps the simplest method for strengthening Wei Qi. Learning particular breathing techniques can support a healthy immune system and prevent DIS-EASE as a result of seasonal change. As the nose is the opening of the lungs to the external environment, keeping the nose and sinuses clean and clear can be highly beneficial for protecting the quality of our breathe. Sinus flushing or using a netti Pot with salty water are easy practices for ridding the nose and sinus of mucus. Cough and Colds Since we have learned how susceptible the Lung organ is to seasonal changes and the relationship with the Wei Qi we begin to understand that typical Autumn DIS-EASES such as dry coughs, sore throats and fatigue can be prevented through strengthening the immune system and practices to support the Lung energy. Breathing, swimming, yoga, shiatsu, acupuncture and foods that nourish lung energy can all boost our chances of avoiding coughs and colds during Autumn. Unfortunately there is no guarantees that you will not develop the mentioned symptoms during Autumn however adopting the above-mentioned practices can provide a new perspective of developing a holistic approach to decrease your chances of experiencing these symptoms of DIS-EASE. Working with an Oriental Remedial Therapist gives you an opportunity to learn more about a holistic treatment model to improve your health and well-being. If you want to learn more about what I can do to support your health and well-being in a holistic way book your complimentary chat today. “The things that matter most are not fantastic or grand. They are moments when we touch each other” Jack Kornfield Humans have an innate need for social proximity and belonging. Social connection has demonstrated to be beneficial for both mental and physical health. One way of expressing connection between people has been through touch. Social touch is a way communicating emotions and intentions (Von Mohr, Kirsch, and Fotopoulou 2017). Studies by Tiffany Field in the area of working with Preterm Newborns has demonstrated the importance of touch for bonding and attachment. Other studies on social exclusion show the unique way touch can support formation of social bonding between adults. Touch has an amazing power to reduce stress, effect feelings of reciprocity, trust and generosity, spread compassion and promote feelings of safety. The history of touch and its therapeutic benefits go back centuries and crosses many cultures. I know with Oriental philosophy massage reaches back to 2700 BC. The first known Chinese text is called “The Yellow Emperor’s Classic Book of Internal Medicine”. The Yellow Emperor is credited for developing the first theory on human healing. He is said to develop the first written collaboration of works on health, disease and medicine. Some say he is a mythical man of history while many credit his work as a powerful reference for traditional Chinese medicine. The ideas in this ancient manuscript is steeped in Taoist philosophy suggesting that ill-health is a result of an imbalance of Yin and Yang and being influenced by the five elements (Curran, 2008). Regardless of whether myth, legend or actual fact, the work of the Yellow Emperor paved the way for our modern perspective of Oriental Medicine and is the first known practice of massage. Acupressure massage developed in Central China as an alternative to using needles and applying moxibustion. Acupressure relied on the practitioner applying thumbs and finger pressure on the body. Eventually acupressure travelled to Korea and Japan where it was adopted and evolved into indigenous forms of somatic therapy (Sandifer, 1997). Many ancient civilizations demonstrate early use of physical touch for healing. Indian, Eypgt and Greece all have some historical references to massage, healing and the power of touch. Not only is there demonstration of massage as a physical practice, written text suggest that massage was a complete mind-body healing system. With recorded history suggesting knowledge of massage in Indian coming from China (Beck, 2010). The Ayurveda texts mention massage as being an important principle for health along with linking the physical body with the great philosophical principles of divine connection. Evidence of massage in Egypt appears on walls of ancient tombs. One piece of art work depicts two men having their hands and feet massaged crediting the origins of modern-day reflexology to Egypt (Acupressure MLD, 2020). The Ancient Egyptian God Nefertum is known as the God of Perfume and Aromatherapy while mythology suggests the Goddess Isis used massage for healing (Hill, 2010). Other historical Egyptian manuscripts make mention of the power of healing through touch particularly for healing women’s conditions while others record ancient massage oil recipes. Ancient Greece has many references to massage for health including the father of modern medicine Hippocrates often recording details of treatments involving the effects of ‘rubbing’ and ‘friction’ of the body. Practices in Greece seem to be the earliest form of Sports Massage, with massage being used on the Greek athletes of the time (Beck, 2010). Modern massage is often accredited to Swedish physiologist and sports man Per Henrik Ling. Ling developed a system of physical therapy that involved movement and touch. Swedish Massage and modern massage terminology was actually coined by Dutch physician Johann Mezger in the 19th Century (Beck, 2010). Although history does suggest that contribution to modern massage is thanks to a few proports of physical therapies developing the understanding that the power of touch truly contributed to good health of mind and body. John Grosvenor’s work in Chirurgy, a practice of healing with hands), John Kellog’s written work on the benefits of massage and hydrotherapy and countless others throughout the 19th Century lead the way for formation of societies, associations and schools that educated on massage. Unfortunately throughout the 20th Century massage and the healing power of touch began to loose its influence in the realms of medicine and science. In Japan, the ancient forms of hands on healing like Amna, a healing therapy and massage practiced by the blind was outlawed. Other forms of massage around the globe also experienced a backlash due to abuses in education of massage therapists, ill-repute reputation with a connection of massage to prostitution and technical innovations that seem to diminish the use of a hands-on therapy (Beck, 2010). Thankfully in places like Japan throughout the early part of the 20th Century there was a shift in thought and by the 1940’s Anma had evolved into Shiatsu. Shiatsu became known as a therapeutic form of bodywork for everybody from the very young, to the very frail and aged. As a form of hands on healing, Shiatsu developed its own complementary system combining Chinese medicine with other techniques. Official training schools opened, offering formal methods of learning this particular technique, spreading all over the world. Whether as a direct result of the development of Shiatsu, there seemed to be a perpetuation for less allopathic way of healing and a natural way of healing. From 1960 massage has seen a resurgence with many declaring a massage renaissance (Beck, 2010). Science has started catching up once more with the benefits of touch being proven to once more being recognised as a legitimate form of healing. While the recognition of massage in some medical fields still needs validation, massage is more widely acceptable then it was at the turn of the century. Through quality education and the development of high professional standards the power of touch as massage is becoming known as not only a form of relaxation but as a practice that heals the human body and mind, compliments western medical practices and may alleviate many symptoms of disease. References Acupressure MLD, 2020 History of Massage Therapy in Ancient Civilizations, Acupressure MLD Massage LLC, Florida https://www.acumassage1.com/the-history-of-massage-therapy-in-ancient-civilizations/ Beck, M 2010 Theory and Practice of Therapeutic Massage, Cengage Learning Canada Curran, J 2005 The Yellow Emperor’s Classic of Internal Medicine BMJ publishing group https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2287209/ Hill, J 2010 Massage in Ancient Egypt, Ancient Egypt online https://ancientegyptonline.co.uk/massage/ Sandifer, J, 1997 Acupressure for health and vitality, Element, Dorset Vickers, A, Zollman, C and Reinish, T 2001 Massage Therapies, Western Journal of Medicine, BMJ publishing group, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1071543/ According to Oriental Theory the element of Fire resides within us and is represented by 2 pairs of meridians. These meridians are the Pericardium, Small Intestine, San Jaio and Heart. The season that we associate with the Fire Element is Summer time. Think the hottest time of the year with its blazing hot sun and long days filled with light. Fire is symbolic of the ultimate Yang at its peak of energy. Energy moves outwards, expanding and radiating. Fire energy is associated with:
The central function of Fire lies within the space of the heart. The heart is the place of our conscious awareness known as Shen. The Shen is the connection between Heaven and Earth. With the Shen residing in the Heart it becomes possible to view every human being as a conduit between both Heaven and Earth. It is easy to think that Mindfulness and Meditation are the same. The words are loosely used to mean the same and quite easily interchangeable at times. However it is important to note that while they have similarities and also complement each other, meditation and mindfulness also have some notable differences.
Meditation is more a formal practice with the intention of finding stillness and calm while mindfulness is the act of becoming aware in the moment. There are many forms of meditation practice including Transcendental meditation, Japa (or mantra) meditation, Vipassana meditation, Metta meditation and the list goes on. While all of these meditations within themselves have differences each ultimately have the intention of leading us to a place of centred calmness. Meditation is the formal practice that supports our mental health, reduces stress and promotes self-awareness in the moment that we sit in that practice. Mindfulness is a form of meditation, there is absolutely no doubt. The biggest difference that I have found between other meditation practices and a mindfulness practice is that mindfulness invites us to take what we learn in the practice off the meditation stool (or cushion) and apply it into our daily life in the shortest possible way. Mindfulness doesn’t just promote self-awareness in the moment we sit down to practice, it encourages self-awareness in every moment we live. Mindfulness can be a formal practice, where we sit in awareness or it can be an informal practice where we find awareness as we complete daily tasks. Mindfulness teaches us to observe something without expectation or judgement of that object. It allows us to look at life from a more open, wider perspective. While some forms of meditation have a similar intention, many forms of meditation teach a practice that involves emptying the mind of all thoughts. Mindfulness is not about stopping our thoughts or emptying our mind. Mindfulness practices will undoubtedly slow thoughts and even seemingly time down but those thoughts are still present. What happens in mindfulness meditation is we learn to observe the thoughts without attachment.. Both mindfulness and other forms of meditation have helped me become a calmer, happier person. I have been able to find balance in times of chaos and have found I have developed a more open perspective. Through practice I have been able to reset the way I see a situation and I no longer take just a one-sided view. When I am centred through my practice, I am able to see many different perspectives of the one situation. Of course, when I am not ‘on practice’ I tend to have a narrower perspective however I am able to remind myself quickly that I am just seeing this view because I am off centre – I am not seeing it from all angles because I am fixed. Mindfulness and meditation both allow me to move from where I sit in times of high stress and take a bigger field of vision. Both mindfulness and meditation can be used conjointly in a practice to enhance the experience. Mindfulness will support a meditation practice while a meditation practice will expand a mindfulness experience. So even though there are differences between mindfulness and meditation they both have valuable application to leading a more balanced life. We all need a bit more calm in this busy world we live and we can all learn to expand our self-awareness to look at life with an open mind. Quick look at mindfulness and meditation Meditation
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AuthorNamaste, my name is Deborah. I am the creator behind Mindful Living Matters. Remaining in the present moment continues to be challenging even with years of experience and knowledge. It does, however get easier with practice. We may slip, we may fall, but if we never give up the space between each mindful moment gets smaller. This online journal is a little about my reflective mind and the struggles I have with staying mindful. I will share snippets of my journey along with information relevant to the tools I have experienced in my travels to coming back to the present moment. I look forward to continuing my journey and sharing my path to happiness, health and harmony. Archives
April 2024
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