So I stop, close my eyes and begin abdominal breathing. "Count to ten, remember what you tell your clients".
Practicing my technique of sensing my body and journeying from toe to head I enter into the place of the sensation. I start to feel settled.
I ask "why am I feeling this anxiety?" The word trust enters my head. It resonates. I recognise it for the third time in a fortnight but this time manifesting as anxiety. Anxious because I was not on firm ground. I was in a boat at the mercy of the tidal current, the weather and Mother Nature. I was partaking in activity foreign and I was extremely nervous.
By entering the waterways of the beautiful Moreton Bay I was handing my life over to the skipper of the boat and had to trust I was safe. Mother Nature does have a habit of changing from gorgeous, tranquil to raging passion in a moment sometimes with very little warning. Being connected with Gaia I am fully respectful and aware of her power.
While I am slightly hazy on when and where my anxiety began (although I think I can hazard a guess), I know exactly when my anxiety peeked. This was the moment I became conscious of my hands - fist punching one hand into the other.
Breathing, meditating and even taking Downward Facing Dog (which was interesting in a confined space and moving vessel) certainly bought me back to calm and coherence.
I cannot explain the sensation of trust or in this case lack of trust entering my emotional body, except to say I have some exploring to do in my daily meditation. The lesson learned though for this moment is to practice what I teach. Stay present and use the tools given to me in overcoming the emotional response.