As I walked in the garden this morning, I couldn't help but admire the wildness of the garden.  With all her weeds and heaviness from the morning dew she seemed to be revelling in an amazing unabandoned wildness.  

In that moment I noticed her beauty and I was jealous.  

This has been a feeling that had been arising time and time again as I observed something in women around me. And I had been really struggling with this feeling.  I disliked what was being left behind even as the jealousy dissipated. 

There is a saying about jealousy being a curse.  And in my experience it often comes down to Sister Shadow work.  A feeling of competitiveness, of being left behind, of that deep feeling of missing out.  I had felt my Sister Shadow of Jealousy was heavily related to feelings of being abandoned by the mother aspects of self.  But today I felt jealousy arise associated with this feeling of wild abandonment.  And it is not a curse.  It is a lesson!

My garden was naturally beautiful.  Clearly there was neglect in her.  I hadn't weeded for months.  Yet here she is standing in such glory and even dare I say abundance.    That was it - neglected and she seemed to be thriving.  Wow is this what I was jealous about.  

We all have a choice in life and even when someone does abandon us we can choose to survive, die or thrive.  This is what I need to learn here.  Instead of feeling all these jealous feelings of only just surviving my abandonment, I really want to thrive.  So time to put away surviving and convert it into that gorgeous wildness I see in my garden and thrive.  

Yesterday I was out enjoying the gorgeous Autumn weather we have been experiencing here in Queensland.  Not entirely sure we can describe 33 degrees as Autumn weather though.  

As I was working in the garden, I noticed one of my furbabies under one of the Citrus Fruit Trees.  Starring intently! Into the canopy of the tree.  Curious I decided to check out what she was looking at.  My first thought was snake.  Its not inconceivable to think we would have snakes.  We live on a semi-rural property and I definitely have seen snakes before.  And while I am a little wary of our serpentine friends, I wanted to see it.  

Anyway I looked and I looked.  Stood there starring for ages along with my (now thinking totally crazy) pup.  I moved positions to see if I could get a new perspective.  Again I stood starring into the tree's branches.  Nothing.  Moved position again - this time I crouched down and got a little comfortable on the ground.  Sat there just watching up into the tree.

Strangely after a few moment of gazing up with a curious nature I felt a gentle calmness wash over me.  It then became evident what my furry friend was trying to show me.  I had the opportunity, I needed to heed the space that I had been granted in my schedule.  Space to stop and meditate.  

Yep I am totally convinced my pooch was showing me how to meditate.  Either that or she is seriously batty - LOL

Maybe there is a lesson we can all take from this.  Slow down, get curious and enjoy the space we are given in nature.  

Change is constant.  Everything changes, it is our attitude and how we meet this change that determines how we begin the next cycle, how we progress through the next cycle

Dated 12/03/17

Making a change requires a shedding of identities we have gotten to know well, removing these can be like parting from a loved one who has died.  There may be a process of grieving, a period of transition as you shed and then grieve and finally rejuvenate. 

Dated 13/03/17

Time to Nurture
Time to Play
Let's have fun I say

Time to Love
Time to Say
All that has not been done with gay

Dated 24-06-2016

O'Mother your force
and strength
is evident to me

Howling, whistling
Roaring through the trees

Snapping, Cracking
Earth Shaking

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